Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Confronting the wife

As my wife walked in the door, I was waiting eagerly to talk to her. I was in a state of shock and felt like I was in "stimulation overload". I did not know what to expect. Finally the timing was right and we both sat down and talked about it. First thing out of her mouth was denial. Oh were just friends. We were attracted to each other but we both realized that were better off as friends. Then she let out her wrath. She mentioned that all these years there was nothing left for me and her. She was very unhappy and the love is gone. This is the first time I have heard this since we've been together. Not once did she confront me about her feelings. We have been both wrapped up in our careers. But this was news to me. After she was done. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me and it was all my fault. I did not know what to do. I was confused and afraid to lose her. I was willing to forgive what she did, start fresh, and try to salvage what we have, and make the marriage work. She had asked me for some time alone. She moved into the guest bedroom and wanted me to stay away for some time. She said she was confused and didn't know what she wants. So I did. I booked a hotel 60 miles away closer to my client so I can focus on work. It felt weird and that there was something wrong. So I rented a car and drove back that night. She lied to everyone because she was meeting up with this guy for dinner. I looked for them and was ready to give up when I decided to get dinner since I haven't eaten yet. Let me go to my favorite sushi restaurant. It's my only comfort food. As I was pulling into the parking lot, there it was my wife's car. Why this place? Everyone knows me. The owner, his wife, the waitresses. We just ate here 4 days ago. As I walked in I asked the waitress if my wife was here. She said she was in the tatami room. I asked if she was with a group of people and she had this look and said she was alone with this guy. I peeked in the room and saw them together. They were so sweet and looked very much in love. They were enjoying the same food and sake that me and my wife had a couple days ago. I couldn't bear it anymore and walked out of the restaurant. Outside I was about to get in my car when I realized I can't leave without saying anything. I have to confront them. So I muscled up the strength, breathed deeply, and walked back into the restaurant. I opened up the door and walked into the tatami room and sat next to my wife. They were both in shock. I told them what I felt and told them that they were playing with fire. This behavior can destroy the lives of their families. After I said what I had to say I walked away and drove home. My wife arrived 2 hours later and boy was she pissed off at me. I guess an affair is not fun and exciting anymore when you get exposed. All I could here was how angry and hateful she was. How this marriage is dead? Deep down inside " a cloud has been lifted". I had my closure and I was satisfied I did the right thing.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Exposing the affair

At some point I got Brennan's name, his address, his wife's work number, etc. Armed with the information I proceeded with confronting my wife. First thing out of her mouth was that they were only friends. I had nothing to worry about. It was a harmless fling that didn't go to far. I told her to end it but she said her friendship with this person was very important to her. She mentioned that for the last 14 years we have lost the romance, passion, and love. She twisted the story to make it seem like it was all my fault that led to this. I felt that I just hit a brick wall. I was in a state of disbelief. I started questioning myself and now the self blame is kicking in full throttle. Maybe it was my fault after all.

The Discovery

I have been noticing some weird behavior with my wife in the last couple of weeks. I just have been so wrapped up with work to notice it. But it was starting to get apparent that there was something wrong. These mood swings and erratic behavior of hers started making me suspicious.
So I started investigating. I started noticing a huge amount of txt messages and phone calls throughout the day on our bill. I checked her cell and it was to Angela (one of her good friends) and it didnt occur to me that this was an alias. The messages seemed way too friendly and flirtatious to come from a girl. And then all of a sudden she started hiding her cell phone. I guess she's starting to notice that I'm getting suspicious. So 4 weeks ago I had the guts to go through her purse and sure enough found two letters. More of a diary entry talking about her feelings for this person. I was in shock. I did not expect this. I had no clue that this has been happening under my nose for the last 2 months. So I investigated further and eventually found out who this guy was. Wow a married co-worker with two kids like us. I could not believe this was happening to me....